carl's isn't nationwide
next spoof you do, you may want to pick one that people can get. If you have never been to the west coast you have no I dea what a Carl's is and you are wondering why they are using the Hardees star.
Of course I would love to see Karl's "taco"
A Great Improvement over the V1
Biker's Rule! (flashers just wish they were as cool)
Gina, You have heard and you have stepped up to the plate. So many could learn from you and rather than complaining about the bad reveiws simply making the improvements and releasing a better version of the original.
Love the eggs, and love the changes you've made. I am sure there will be post telling you o not put the same stuff out there and it still sucks, but take heart in the fact that you have made the changes we asked for and you have put out a quality short.
Yes there is still room for improvement, but for a newbie you have hit this one out of the park! (ok we may still be playing kickball but it was good)
I like the helmets, and the stoppie rocked. I recognize that face from personal experience.
Now why would you ask that nice mennonite woman about Amish preserves? Of course she is going to be mad!
Keep up the good work, and hold your head high, you have just surpassed all sticks and clocks in your level of flash. (Bring it on big boys lets hear what you have to say, prove me wrong, make something that doesnt suck!)
I would love to see you stick with the biker motiff. Become our patron saint of biker flash!
I could go over every point that is so improved here but if you want to know go and see the V1 and read the reviews, it will give you perspective on how much better this production was than the last.
Pat yourself on your back. You've done good.
I am sure ther was an inside joke on the Amush Preserves but I'm not getting it. My parents went Mennonite for about 5 years growing up, and our neighbors were Amish so I know a little of what I am talking about. The old lady was using Dutch sign language to tell you to go to Intercourse Pa. (Any non revisionist historian can explain that joke to you) On to true help with your movie.
1. The sound machine, get rid of it, it puts you in the wrong mindset for this flick.
2. As stated before that kind of hair would be flpping in the wind. She would have it in a braided pony tail for a real ride as the wind would whip it in her face the entire ride if she didn't.
3. In a video the wheels appear to move the wrong direction. (reverse) In animation it's standard to use the correct motion, you have a mix of media it's up to you to decide which way to go with that.
4. front tire is too big
5. people are off scale (too big)
6. no one's feet are on their pegs, even if his bike has forward controls his feet will be up higher, and the way her feet are they will be stubbs by the time they get there.
7. Remove the non scene shots, as much as an inside joke the cow sink and Village People are it takes away from the tone of the flick.
8. in most of the states that they went through not wearing a helmet will get them arrested and the nike impounded. If they wear full face put them in a shorty for the flick so you can see the faces but always promote safe riding.
9. i like the et reference but they should come up from the botom not down from the top
10. Keep them on the ground, you have them flying through the air alot even on water once. netley creek would fit better if you just saw the torsoes and the bike was cutt out of the scene.
11. When a bike slams on the brakes that way one of two things happen. The rear locks up and you skid to a stop fish tailing until you slow enough to get back in control (or you release the rear brake and reapply) or your rear end goes up in the air and you do a stoppie. My first bike didn't have rear brakes so i did those a lot, they can be fun when you get the hang of them.
12. I know you already got some flak for the pr0n but my issue would be if this if for a biker the drawn on undies are unneeded, At least around here. Boobs are everywhere at the rallies if you want a biker to notice you got to do the full monty.
13. this will be my last point, the size ratio of the bike doesnt need to change on the bridge. not unless they mutate on the way across. The size difference is too little to fit the way you did it.
I look forward to getting your feedback on my feedback. I honestly liked the thing, I'm a little biased to biker flicks, and would honestly like to see more biker stuff, but I will show ways I think will improve just about everything, not that i'm right all the time, but you would be surprised at my batting average.
holy crap. i just wrote a really long responce to your feedback, and the damn thing ate my post! i am not going to sit here and type that whole mess again, so how bout i just email you later with a more thorough reply. :-)
(i can't believe it ate it) :-(
unlike a lot of the crap out here you were able to correctly portray the tension in the movie, there was a little lag in the very begginning, I don't know how you would intensify that, so I say keep it as is, very good
this was good. very funny
could have used a little polishing, looking out for the sequel, I would like to see the bunny eat the muffin.
Your knack for storytelling rocks, now get a team for the animation and voice over and kick some tail. It's very rare that I actually laugh at one of these, but you got a chuckle from me. Rock on, keep practicing
Mediocre flash, but funny
As usual the flash is poorly drawn, as is 80% of what makes it out here, but there was a good concept there. Learn to draw and keep the humor and you'll be doing some kick tail work.
Slow down the text a little, not enough time to read everything you put in.
Start the image at the same time as the audio, I have my speakers off untill i see something on the screen. Therefore I lost the beginning.
Like I said good concept, and you animation is on par with most of the users out here, but most of the people out here need to learn to draw as well. And you are far supior to the idiot that think moving still images are worth submitting.
is philosophy, is attempt, are mediocre
Try using a diff background track, longer track, perhaps on the Enya route, or Yanni, best I can think of is Kitaro, like his real long japanese drum solo, Blue Man Group would fit this real well too.
Work on the rythm a little too, the pause in the random loop is a little distracting, with a slightly slower pace and even rythm with a different background track you would have the beginnings of a marketable meditation peice.
Also I love the realistic clouds in the background, but mine went pixelized as soon as the animation started, not sure if it was supposed to. Also the loop on the clouds would be cooler if it was continuous, or like a 3 minute loop so you didn't notice the constant change.
Like I said though, this is a marketable design. I know of several Zen Buddist that have tapes with mantras very similar. You get the design down and you have a cash opportunity here
thank you. this is what i call a review. ill try out your tips.
White boy's can't rap
Jungle techno beat and white boy rap lirics to a repetitive toon. Yeah, give the boy a Gold Star! No wait, here's one for you, go throw this video in with your Culture Club videos, Boy George would love it.
newgrounds.com — Your #1 online entertainment & artist community! All your base are belong to us.